It’s
no secret that I've had a bit of a tough year. Getting to grips with doing a
PhD, three bereavements within a month and an unwanted house move just when
everything was at its peak; No, this year hasn’t been easy, but I’m starting to
realise that I may have made it much harder on myself than it needed to be. In
the midst of everything that’s happened, I forgot to take the time for self-care.
My mum might call it looking after myself; my counsellor calls it being kind to
myself. Whatever you want to call it, I haven’t been doing it, and this year
has been much, much tougher than it needed to be.
As
is often the case, I only realised what had been missing because I took the
time to do it again. Over the last few weeks, I have tried to really been kind
to myself, and I’ve found a few things that have really helped my mental and
emotional well-being. And this post is as much to remind myself to keep doing
them as anything else.
Over
the last few years I have noticed that some of the lowest points in my life
have occurred when I haven’t been actively cultivating my spiritual journey. I know
that correlation and causation are not the same thing, but I’ve never liked
coincidences. I feel much better in myself, much more grounded when I’m taking
the time to ask questions about the universe, and to learn or ponder on the
answers that feel right to me. I won’t say too much more here because I plan on
doing a no holds barred post on my spiritual beliefs, but I will say that I
have felt much better for taking the time to sit by myself and ponder my
purpose and how I want to live my life. Two of the books that have been most
useful to me of late are The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the DalaiLama and Mastery by George Leonard.
The
other major component in my well-being seems to be the pursuit of some sort of
creative endeavour. Last week I started work on part of my Halloween costume.
It involved lots of papier mache, and I found it extremely relaxing doing a
little bit every day. It reminded me of the reason I picked up painting this
summer; it gives me something tactile to do, that is relatively simple and doesn’t
involve my brain as strenuously as the rest of my life does. I have also found
refuge in the creation of macramé or shambala bracelets. The fact I gain the
same amount and kind of pleasure from a variety of crafts suggests that it is
the tactile and creative nature which is most beneficial, and I should set
aside some time every week, if not every day for creative pursuits.
The
rest of what I’ve found seems to be on a smaller scale that the two things
mentioned above, but can be exceedingly helpful in diffusing a stressful
situation. Taking refuge in a cup of tea, taking time to brew it carefully and
sip it slowly is of immense benefit to me. Likewise, taking the time to run and
have a bath is extremely relaxing and can rescue a bad day. Other than that, my
priority is to learn to expect less of myself; to be able to admit my
limitations and be okay with them. And I’m learning that sometimes I just need
to remove myself from a situation, take a day off and do whatever I want to do
so that I can return refreshed.
That
to me is self-care; the little things as well as the big that make an impact on
my day to day life, my well-being and my ability to perform well in anything.
What
does self-care mean to you?
