FA Progress and Dealing with Weight loss Compliments

I’ve been a fledgling member of the Fat Accepting community since April. April 14^th was when I announced it on my blog, which means it has now been 4 months since I ditched the diet and started trying to love my body better.

On the whole I can’t believe it’s only been four months. It feels like so much longer. I feel like fat acceptance was a journey I started on long ago; except for when I’ve been at my lowest points, I feel like I’ve been fat accepting most of my life without knowing what label to apply to the way I felt. It feels like I have been part of this community forever, whereas I never really felt part of the dieting community. Even when I was dieting. And to tell the truth, I have been incredibly happy in those four months.

Hear that, fat shamers? I’ve not been miserable, I’ve not been lonely. My fat has not stopped me doing anything. It has not held me back in anyway, and it has not gotten me down. Probably for the first time in my life I have not felt bad about my body, not in the last four months. Even when I had hiccup days (and everyone has those) my hatred of my body never became fully formed. I recognised that there were other reasons I was hating my body, and either waited for them to pass or did something about them. Nothing I have felt in the last four months matches the utter despair and self hatred I felt back in January that prompted me to start that blog.

The reason that I have become Fat Accepting so easily? I believe it is all down to the community of people I have around me. The people in my everyday life that I can talk to about my body, and fat without them spouting diet rhetoric at me. The people I talk to online and offline that share my views, or views that are complementary to mine. The people who write the blogs that I read every day, that remind me that I’m not along. These blogs remind me that there is a vast army of people from all around the world that think the same things about fat I do. Every single thing I do in my day reiterates and reconfirms my decision to walk the path of fat acceptance.

In four months I have armed myself with scientific knowledge, with cultural knowledge and with greater self esteem. But one of the things I’ve not yet managed to do is learn how to deal with diet compliments. It’s happened a few times since I’ve been fat accepting, and each time has involved lots of mumbling and fumbling and not saying anything that could be recognised as words.

Today Big Fat Deal is letting the commenters offer advice on how to deal with this situation. I quite like the idea of employing the “really, I hadn’t noticed” method. To say that this society is obsessed with weight loss may well be an understatement, and not keeping track of weight is unthinkable in some peoples’ minds. That kind of statement might be the jolt they need to realise that weight is not something that should rule one’s life.

On the other hand, I quite like the advice to take the conversation away from weight and move it towards how you feel. Recently I’ve been feeling pretty good, though I’ve not been doing anything that could be identified as dedicated exercise. I’ve just been living and moving and enjoying myself doing the things I’m doing. Might be worth try this approach just to see how people respond to me feeling great completely independently of punishing myself with the way I eat and exercise.

I could always go the same route as one commenter and exclaim “Holy crap I hope not”. But I guess I’ll approach it like I approach everything else; as it comes. It’s helpful to have a bit of inspiration though.

A Plateau in FA development

So its been a while since I last posted. Partly its been due to computer and internet issues, but I feel it's also partly because I feel I've come to a plateau in my FA development. I haven't any new books to read, and I feel comfortable with the place I'm at right now. Over the summer I think I will turn the attention to general fat and FA issues that affect me, rather than my FA development. Keep an eye out for the next post.

A Fairly Quick Update

Wow, haven’t updated this blog in a while. That’s mostly been because its mad deadline season at uni. I’m not going to apologise; this is my blog and I’ve been busy. This does mean that the BMI essay I’ve been getting excited about is on the back burner for now. Maybe I’ll write it over the Easter holiday. Here is, however, a quick update.

• There has been some more noticeable progress with the weight loss. I can now fasten buttons on my lab coat that I couldn’t before.
• I started taking multivitamins, at the behest of a friend’s mother, and I can honestly say I feel much better. It’s obvious that with my diet as limited as it was I wasn’t getting enough essential nutrients.
• I bought some slim fast shakes, and they’re not bad. I don’t normally like milkshakes, so I was surprised by how nice these were. I’m not following the plan or anything; they’re mostly to add some variety to breakfast and to fill in for lunch when I don’t know what to have.
• I’m considering getting some fibre supplements to take. With the change in the amount of carbohydrates in my diet (from stupidly large amounts to just under normal) it’s become obvious that fibre is slightly lacking in my diet.
• One thing I’ve started to notice is that I don’t seem to feel the full sensation properly. I’ve had really quite hearty meals that I’ve felt ravenous afterwards, even though I know I can’t possibly hungry. This might help to explain the overeating I’ve been very guilty of, and hopefully will allow me to avoid it in the future. If my iron will can’t combat it, I’m tempted to go to a doctor to get some appetite suppressing drugs.
• The whole exercise thing is going pretty well too. I’ve not really been doing much in the way of cardio workout, but I’ve been doing lots of walking. You wouldn’t believe how much exercise gets done when I’m running round the lab four afternoons a week. In addition to this walks around the local area are starting to happen more. Which is good because there are also lots of pretty places round here.
• I'm managed to stick to the alcohol promise I made myself, so far. Despite having a bit too much to drink at a party on Saturday, I didn't buy any of it myself. And I tried my best to balance the calories for the day so I wasn't too over my limits.

I'm also starting to feel quite a lot more positive about myself. This was helped immensely by the shedload of compliments I received at the party on Saturday, from someone I only met that night. So far, it seems like I'm well on my way o a healthier, happier me.

Interesting things I have found out tonight:

How to make ice cream out of bananas.

How to make an omelette without a frying pan.

And also a really awesome new recipe for potatoes that I can’t find the link for.

It's Been Almost a Month Already

It’s almost the end of February, which means I’ve been on this new diet plan almost a month (yes I know it’s kind if cheating because February’s the shortest month). So I thought tonight I would talk about where I am now, what I’ve learned, what I’m doing right, what I’m doing wrong, and were I want this to go from here.

I started February feeling fat, ugly and wanting to changes that. Now I feel slightly slimmer (not significantly so, but we’re getting there), and quite a bit happier about who I am. I’ve started to learn how to love myself, and it’s about time. I’ve spent 21 years loathing my appearance, it’s about time I learned some self love. Whenever I take a shower I try to pick out a body part I like, instead of focussing on all the flabby flappy bits I hate. For example I’ve decided I have a really nice arse, and I’d quite like to get rid of my love handles so I can show it off!

I have taken a number of positive steps this month; steps I hope are lifestyle changes and will be slightly permanent. I’ve pretty much given up fruit juices, which were a major source of unwanted sugar and calories. Instead I’m eating more fruit and veg, as at least with the actual fruit you get fibre as well as the sugar. The other major change is my attitude to carbs. I haven’t gone carb free, for reasons mentioned in this post, and I’m not sure I want to. Cutting carbohydrates out completely might have a good impact on my waistline but a negative impact on my brain.

I’m trying to eat less carbs, as I’m aware that my reliance on large portions of carbs was at least partly responsible for my size. I’m also changing my attitudes as to what carbs I eat; where before I was reliant on processed white carbs like pasta and bred, not I try to eat more rice and potato. And when I do have processed carbs, I try to have wholemeal varieties. It’s not always easy to stick to, but I do my best; as of right now I honestly couldn’t tell you when I last at pasta. Another method of lowering the amount of carbohydrate I’m eating is to replace something like apsta or chips with something less carby and more healthy. For example this evening instead of chips I had roast parsnips.

My attitude to calories has also changed. Before I used to ignore the numbers and hope they go away. Now I have a better idea how many calories are in a food, and if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’ve learned that calories are not necessarily your enemy; provided a balance is maintained and foods are consumed in the correct moderation I can eat pretty much whatever I want. Which is awesome!

I’ve pretty much given up unnecessary sugar too. I’ve permanently switched to sweetner in my teas. And just in case anyone wants to jump on the ‘Aspartame is bad’ bandwagon, I’m studying toxicology at the moment and there’s no evidence at all that it’s harmful. Not unless you plan on injecting massive doses directly into your liver everyday for the rest of your life. Academic bit over. I don’t drink carbonated drinks or soda very often, but when I do I’ve switched over to sugar free here as well. Meaning almost the only sugar I’m intentionally putting into my diet is in my morning porridge. And I’m afraid that’s staying.

The one thing that’s a little bit iffy is the exercise. I’ve been making an effort to walk more, walk faster and do more housework, but the skipping thing hasn’t really happened yet. Need to buy a sports bra, and that’ll have to wait til next month’s budget. I’m also very tempted to get a pedometer to monitor just how many calories I’m burning walking to and from lectures and around the lab. If anyone can recommend me a good pedometer for a reasonable (student) budget I'd be very grateful.

One of the other things that hasn’t happened as much as it should is the drinking of water before meals. I honestly just keep forgetting. I’m drinking plenty of water, cordial or teas (some of which are herbal and/or caffeine free), but they’re usually after meals. I’m also still working on the alcohol thing. I’m going to try drinking more water at the pub, and buying half’s instead of pints to see how we go. I don’t mind not having succeeded 100% in my first month; it gives me something to aim for.

The plan for March is to keep up the good work. I’m going to try improving the amount of exercise that gets done, and the amount of water I’m drinking. I’m also going to try cut down on the alcohol and see if I can go the whole month with no takeaway. Failing that, if I absolutely must have takeaway I’m going to try getting a jacket potato.

And if all else completely fails, I’ve learned that it’s okay to mess up. I just have to pick myself up, dust myself off and try again.

Pancake Day and Progress Report

Monday sees me enter the third week of this diet. It also represents one of the most challenging weeks I will have had since starting my diet, for this week has Pancake Day. The one day of the year we devote to eating obscene amounts of carbohydrate and sugar. Which doesn't look like good news for my diet.

I AM planning to eat lots of pancakes, because I'm hosting an event for friends and I'm not slaving over a hot pan for hours just so they can eat. Also, I was fully aware of Pancake Day when I decided to start my diet, and I already have it allocated as one of my naughty days. I do plan on there being a variety of pancakes at my event though.

One of my house mates is planning on making buckwheat pancakes. These are usually savoury, and are made with buckwheat flour, which is gluten free (he's coeliac). I am also planning on making Finnish pancakes from this recipe. The advantage of this recipe is that it uses lots of eggs, and less flour than regular pancake recipes. There will also be plenty of traditional pancakes on offer, but the range of recipes we have means I can minimise the negative impact the day will have on my plans.

Positive news though, I've had the first sign that the diet is actually working. Today I was having a sort through of clothes that don't fit are too scruffy or I no longer wear to clear out my wardrobe. I came across a couple of pairs of jeans than I'd dismissed as being too small that are now quite comfortable to wear. The pair of jeans I'm currently wearing has two buttons on them, and ever since I've got them I've not been able to fasten the top one up. Today, I could fasten both buttons comfortably.

The thing that really made my day though, was trying on my skirt. I acknowledge that it is made of a fairly stretchy material, but there's only so far it will stretch. I managed to fit into this skirt, which made me very happy because it's a size 16. Size 16! My ideal size is 18 and I already fit into a smaller size than that! I'm not taking this as indicative, but it was a hell of a self esteem booster and is going to spur me on to make sure I get down to my ideal weight/size.

I've not dropped a dress size yet, despite what my skirt might tell me, but there has been definite progress. I know I can get to where I want to be, but I'm also increasingly aware that since I'm the one this benefits, this has to be done on my time. So, I'm going to enjoy my carbohydrate and sugar filled day on Tuesday, because Pancake Day is fun and even fat girls deserve a treat once in a while. Even fat girls deserve fun. I'm just going to make sure the rest of my week is full of protein and vegetables to make up for Pancake Day.