Just like today's story.
Quest
A new quest
popped up on my heads up display. I opened it, excited to head out
into the world on an adventure once more.
“They want me
to collect what?” I said to myself in utter disbelief.
Fifteen pairs of
underpants, assorted.
“What the
actual fuck?” I muttered. Was the quest giver some kind of pervert
or something? What the hell did they want with that many pairs of
pants? I could understand it if they just wanted me to get fifteen
pairs of pants in their size and preferred style but no. I didn’t
even want to think what the quest setter wanted with that many
pairs of random pants.
Still… the
reward was pretty good. Enough credits to buy that new weapon I’d
been after.
I accepted.
Now I just had to
work out where to find the requisite number of knickers. I figured I
could always go buy them for my employer, but I got the
distinct impression that wasn’t what they were after. I checked the
quest specification again; it just said “underpants, various”.
Helpful.
I sat down for a
moment, thinking. What sorts of places might I find stray underwear.
The ad didn’t specify but my personal preference was for them to be
clean when I picked them up.
My first stop was
a launderette. There were always odd bits of clothes being left in
the dryers.
I was in luck:
the first laundrette I visited yielded three of the fifteen pairs I
needed. I updated the quest progress meter and felt the first flicker
of excitement over the reward. I was twenty percent of the way there.
And I’d only received a few odd looks for picking pairs of knickers
out of the lint trap.
By the time I had
check all the launderettes within walking distance I was almost half
way to my goal.
I was pretty
happy with how far I’d gotten with the quest so far, because the
next thing I planned on doing was checking the laundry people had put
out on their washing lines. The weather wasn’t terribly great today
which meant fewer people were likely to have their washing out.
I dived into the
first garden I saw with washing in and started pulling pants off the
line.
Three hours later
I had fourteen out of my fifteen pairs of pants and a dog bite on my
arse for my troubles. It didn’t matter though, I was so close to my
goal. So close. I could almost taste the reward.
Which was good
because I wasn’t looking forward to my next port of call: the
leisure centre changing rooms.
Oh they would
almost certainly have what I needed, but there was no telling what
sort of state they’d be in. I’d seen discarded knickers in all
sorts of predicaments before. I prayed I would find a pair completely
soaked in chlorinated water. That was better than some of the
alternatives.
I paid my way
into the leisure centre, a small price considering the magnitude of
the reward, and methodically searched the changing rooms. Every nook,
every cranny, every empty locker. Nothing.
I left the
leisure centre disappointed.
All I needed was
one more pair of pants and that new weapon would be mine.
Just one more.
A thought
occurred to me. I knew exactly where I could find a single pair of
pants.
It was awkward
getting the rest of my armour and clothes off but soon enough I was
down to my underwear. I had my last pair of panties.
I scrabbled to
put my clothes back on, feeling a little bit conscious of the fact I
was now going commando, and ran to the quest marker to submit my
items. The queue at quest submission was interminable, but at last I
was rid of the fifteen sets of underwear. I asked no questions and
refused to look the attendant in the eye as they passed me my reward.
As I headed to
the store to exchange my hard-earned credits for loot, another quest
marker popped up on the HUD. I hesitated a moment—thoughts of
underpants, various still fresh in my mind—before clicking open.
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