So yesterday I spent all of my time sat on my ass stuffing my face with food, and not all of it was good. I made the mistake of making flapjacks the previous evening, and spent a lot of time eating those. Then, after a day of doing nothing but eating, I caught sight of my reflection in the back door window. And I hated it. I honestly have never look so big to my own eyes; the amount of self loathing I felt at that moment was impossibly large.
I ended up stomping to bed and crying my eyes out for about half an hour. Fortunately my boyfriend is an amazing bloke and was really supportive at this point. He held me while I cried, then told my I was beautiful, and got a pad of paper so we could write down some solutions to the problem.
So, starting today the following are going to be put into action:
- I'm going to drink a pint of cold water before every meal (to help fill me up and kick start my metabolism)
- I'm going to eat more natural yoghurt and salads.
- I'm going to keep a record of the calories I eat in a day, and try to stick to a total of 1200 calories per day.
- We're going to buy a skipping rope each, as it's pretty much the only easily available cheap exercise we can both do
- Sam (my boyfriend) is going to make me do 10 or 20 minutes of exercise before I play any videogames (just like his mum used to do to him)
- The exception to the above rule is if I happen to be playing Wii Sports
- Going to do some weights to increase muscle mass (I'm trying to drop dress sizes rather than lose weight, so adding muscle mass isn't a problem)
- We're going to go for a weekly walk or cycle on a Sunday
- I'm going to sort out a number of recipes either of us can cook that fit with the calorie counting rules
- We're going to buy a proper tape measure (as opposed to the rubbish short one I currently have) so I can keep an eye on my waist to hip ratio (which is a better method of keeping track of healthy size than the BMI)
- Limiting the number of alcoholic drinks I have in a week (this will be one of the hardest; I'm not an alcoholic or anything, but there are so many calories in a single pint)
- We've resolved to do more silly little exercises like dancing and laughing to add to the skipping.
- Going to curb my fruit juice drinking habits- too many calories for the vitamins it provides. Might try skimmed milk smoothies with fruit (I get the fibre as well as the calories in this case)
- I'm also going to try to eat more lentils, as they're generally very good for you
- If any or all of that fails I can always seek help from a doctor re: weight loss supplements and general advice. I've been told by doctors to lose weight in the past but I desperately want to avoid this. I'm a medicinal chemistry student so I know all about the horrific side effects of the prescription weight loss drugs.
I know I'm incredibly lucky to have Sam to support me in all this. There are a lot of girls my size and shape who haven't managed to find anyone who is accepting and supportive, I know, it took me years to find this one, so I'll think I'll be keeping him all to myself. I honestly don't think I could do any of that without him, but that's just me.
From now on, we're going to try the above measures, and try to avoid the waves of self loathing. Wish me luck!
